


felt your heartbeat, feel my heartbreak

by poisonedapple



Series: Bardic Inspiration [6]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonedapple/pseuds/poisonedapple
Summary: "Taryon's just back in Whitestone having a fucking ball.""Taryon is drinking a cup of tea.""No, Taryon’s on the floor, weeping, holding his necklace.”





	felt your heartbeat, feel my heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> Set primarily in Episode 102.

Tary didn’t even go to see the rest of Vox Machina, with their weird gnome friend tagging along, off when they left for the Shadowfell.  He said his goodbyes the night before and the next morning he waved Vex and Percy goodbye in her manor before finishing his own breakfast and began preparing for his own day ahead.  He had not been worried about them and he had the pieces of Doty upstairs in his bedroom, waiting for Tary to fix him and put him back together.  Vox Machina could take care of themselves and where Doty could not.

Even when the dragon’s tooth necklace swung out from his collar and bobbled when he leaned over to grab a wrench, Tary hadn’t been fussed at the reminder.  He’d merely tucked his most prized possession, more than even his book because this necklace was proof of his own growth and his friendship and new-found family, back under his shirt so he could work undisturbed.

He had just finished his tea and retaken back his tools to continue working and then he felt a second heartbeat and warmth beating in time with his on, right over his own heart and his heart stopped just as quickly as the second beat did.  Vox Machina had put the necklace into use many times over the past year since Keyleth had gifted it to them, but the only time it had ever started and stopped like that had been when Keyleth had fallen just days ago - alive and then dead too quickly for Vox Machina to act.

Tary’s tools fell from his hands and his knees buckled and he stumbled to the ground as the reality that one of his friends had just  _died_ sank in.

Who?  The awful question gripped at him.  Which of his family had just… Gods, not Vex – not his best friend, his little elf girl.  Please not Percy, either,  _please please please_.  And it couldn't be Pike - if there was any hope of all of them returning good as new, it couldn't be Pike. And Not… But no, none among them would be the best option.  Tary could not stand the lose of any of them. Except – Gods, please let Keyleth have given their weird gnome friend a necklace, like she'd said she would when Tary had been given what was meant to be Scanlan's.  Let the dying heart Tary had felt be him, let it be Scanlan.  It was a selfish, ugly thought, but he hoped with all his heart for it – Vox Machina had survived the lose of their friend before Tary had even come along, they could do it again, but he could not survive their lose.  He could lose all his money and everything material – that’s what Vox Machina had helped him learn, but not them.  Just them, they were all he needed.

And then he felt another heartbeat, cut just as short – a twin of the first one and Tary could hear his own wretched cries as he screamed.  Coldness filled his chest, spreading in his despair.  He should have gone with them, his own plans with his blood family be damned.  His true family was dying.

Except he was useless to them in a fight.  He got in the way more often than not, Tary knew it.  He knew they were in better hands with their lying gnome friend, and yet the death count was already equal to the death count Vox Machina had suffered in Scanlan's hands as they had in Tary's in less than a day.

But even if he had not physically been there, he should prised every gem from his helm, given them every patch, made them every Revivify coin he could make to take with them.  He should have armed them with everything he had, because they had given him everything worth having.

More warmth sparked in his cold chest for his a split second.  His fist pounded the floor, before the realization that it was an incomplete heartbeat – much like when Grog had been beaten to near-unconsciousness but remained relentlessly resilient and on his feet.  Tary could have cried in relief – just in knowing that his dear brother Grog was alive, but then what sort of danger were they in that  _Grog_  was beaten to the cusp of unconsciousness?

The coldness spread to his arms and he screamed in horror.  What could be so terrific that it could kill the might of Vox Machina so quickly? Tary was sobbing so wretchedly, his head ached in dehydration.

This necklace had been a gift, but now it cursed him with feeling the quick death of his family.  He waited, clutching his necklace and prayed desperately sobbing to Pike’s Sarenrae that she would bring him to them as she had Pike once - even just so that he could die in their place, even just as a distraction. 

He waited.  He waited.  He kept waiting. Until, Pike's voice answered his pleading like only she, with her all-seeing eyes and far-reaching voice - her tone clear and warm.

"Your family is okay, Tary.  Vox Machina is saving the world.  We'll see you when this is all over. Be safe. We love you."

And Tary was so relieved he threw up.


End file.
